This is the final set of practices about creating a brave space.
3. SLAY op de catwak
Speak from a place of love and respect
Nothing more, nothing less.
Lean into fear
When faced with fear we are standing on the learning edge poised to discover something new about ourselves or others. Step out and take a risk to experience and offer something that might be different for the purpose of creating a learning opportunity or a teachable moment.
Assume everyone in this space has good intentions
Checking our intentions helps us set boundaries and be accountable for our words and actions.
Yield success
What is said here, stays here. What is learned here, leaves here.
Let's start the Braveolution!
Elaborate, please!
This is the final chapter where we once again, share some extra insights so this set of practices will be less abstract and more applicable in real life!
Speak
A good conversation is a two two-way street. Mutual respect and understanding are mandatory.
Equally important is love. It might sound a bit corny, but love for your fellow human is also an important component.
Recognize yourself in the other. See the humanity in the people you speak with.
They're no robots or abstract concepts, they are people.
Try to focus on what you have in common, not on what ways you're different.
By embracing respect and love as leading principels, we create a brave space where authentic communication flourishes, relations deepen and transformative growth is possible.
Here are a few important principles to keep in mind:
Empathy and validation: principles. Instead of immediately challenging or debunking someone's emotions or experiences, show empathy and validation. Acknowledge their feelings, even if you don't fully understand them or do not agree, let them know their experiences are important.
Wise language: Use your words carefully and think about their possible impact. Avoid derogatory language, personal attacks or generalizations. Use "I"-phrases to express your thoughts and feelings instead of making assumptions about others.
Constructive feedback: If you're disagreeing with someone, give your opinion in a respectful and constructive manner. Focus on the ideas discussed, instead of attacking the person. Consider your feedback as a chance to learn from each other and grow.
Cherish curiosity: Approach conversations with genuine curiosity and readiness to learn from others. Ask open questions to encourage a deeper exploration of different perspectives. Be open-minded to the idea your opinion can develop through these exchanges.
Lean into fear
Just like it's okay to make mistakes, it's okay to have a certain fear. After all, it's a way of surviving. Luckily, merely surviving isn't necessary or applicable to a brave space. That's why it's a great moment to reflect, be aware of your fear and learn something from it. Why are you scared, where does this fear come from? How could you surpass said fear? Or how could you learn to cope with it and accept it as a given fact? this is a point where you can grow and leave your comfort zone. This doesn't have to be a big step, but one step out of your zone is also a step. Don't be scared to tell others you're leaving your comfort zone, be vulnerable. Dare to ask for help or support if you need it. You can be an example or jumping pad for others who just need a little extra nudge to step out of their own comfort zone!
Realizing others are also afraid and have fears, is yet again a confirmation others are fellow humans and a confirmation you have something in common.
Example:
You got to a point where you want to say something, but suddenly you get stressed out, you feel fear submerge like a wave and you remain silent. Yes, silent because uncertainty takes over:
Will I say something wrong
Did I understand it correctly?
Is my experience even important enough to share?
If you remain silent in that moment in the Brave Space, it means you could possibly miss a chance to:
Grow
Learn
Support
Maybe the first time you won't succeed but don't forget: a brave space is a verb, so keep trying!
Assume the best
In a brave space we can hopefully assume everyone who enters this 'zone', enters with the right intentions. Assume other people speak, just like you, from a place of respect and love. Making mistakes is normal, but everyone also has to bare responsibility for their own words and how they react, you included. So, avoid making assumptions about others' motives or attacking their character. This helps create an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
You could also take it a step further and practice these principles.
Separate ideas and individuals: differentiate between ideas or opinions (be aware to do differentiate between ideas/opinions and experiences!) being stated and the individuals who express them. Remember, their ideas or opinions do not necessarily reflect their intentions or character. Focus on discussing the ideas themselves rather than making personal judgments.
Empathy or Perspective-Taking: Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand their background, experiences and influences. Cultivate empathy by contemplating the way their life experiences shaped their point of view. This helps to develop a more compassionate and open-minded approach.
Yield success
Undoubtedly, in a brave space personal stories will be told. These experiences are important and can help you to broaden your worldview. However, it's equally important to respect and maintain everyone's privacy inside the brave space.
Of course, we still encourage you to bring the things you've learned inside the brave space, into your own daily life!
Here we summarize them again:
Set up guidelines and norms: Set up clear guidelines and expectations for respectful and inclusive communication in the Brave Space. Encourage participants to follow these guidelines so everybody feels safe to share their thoughts and experiences.
Stimulate active participation: Create opportunities for active participation of all individuals in the brave space. Encourage everyone to bring ideas, perspectives and experiences to the table. This way, different voices can be heard and appreciated.
Encourage collaboration and cooperation: Emphasize the importance of collaboration inside a brave space. Encourage individuals to work together, build upon each other's ideas and look for common ground.
Evaluate and adapt: Regularly evaluate the effectiveness of the brave space and be open-minded to adjustments if necessary. Ask feedback from the participants, evaluate the impact of the discussions and bring necessary changes to guarantee continued success and improvement.
What now?
Changing our life/environment into brave spaces is a profound journey, a journey that acknowledges the challenges ahead of us. It requires to step outside of our comfort zones, face our fears and embrace discomfort. But it's thanks to this difficult process we can create spaces where true connection, growth and understanding thrive. Even if it might seem discouraging, let us gather the courage to walk this transformative path.
Let us remember the most valuable transformations come from the most challenging efforts. Let us dare change our lives together and make the world more inclusive and brave!
The Braveolution starts with you!!!